This story first appeared in our sister publication, Walworth County Community News.
BURLINGTON — The Burlington, Wisconsin, Liars’ Club, which has been celebrating fibs, untruths and tall tales since 1929, has announced its top lies of 2024.
According to the club, they’re fortunate to have some dedicated, perennial fibbers. When this year’s winner forgot to include his phone number, a little detective work found it in his entry from 2017. At that time, his lie was overlooked. He reworded it this year and voila, he had a winner! Congratulations go to Jerry Worzella of Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin.
“My doctor says that it is perfectly normal to toss and turn in your sleep. It’s called sleeping in the futile position.”
Honorable Mention in no particular order:
Beth Schuster of Burlington, Wisconsin. Beth was our champion last year as well.
“My grandson has the most infectious smile. Every time he visits, I need
a round of antibiotics.”
Chuck Goldstein of Janesville, Wisconsin. Chuck was our champion in 2018.
“I recently suffered a bad fall — I hit my funny bone and almost laughed
to death!”
Richard Schaaf of Devils Lake, North Dakota. Richard was our champion in 2012.
“I filled out the questioner on the website for an older people dating service. The only response back was from a mortician.”
Frank Garner of Lake in the Hills, Illinois
“I have a super duper memory! I was born in June 1937 and I have a recollection from September 1936! I remember going on a picnic IN my daddy, and coming home IN my mommy!”
If you would like to enter the contest for 2025, email your entries to championlies@gmail.com or address them to The Burlington Liars Club, P.O. Box 156, Burlington, WI 53105. Be sure to include your contact information so we can reach you when you win.
Newspaperman Mannel Hahn is credited with giving birth to the Liars’ Club in 1929.
According to an article in the 1940 Rotarian Magazine, Hahn was living in Burlington, and I was freelancing as correspondent for the Milwaukee Journal and the Chicago Daily News.
Unfortunately for Hahn, there were no fires, murders, or train wrecks to write up and send to editors following Christmas of 1929.
So Hahn says he sat down and concocted a fantasy of the non-existent meeting of an ephemeral “liars’ club” and its award of a medal.
